What's On TV Tonight

• The Big Bang Theory, CBS, 8 PM: Sheldon is worried that his excessive nerdiness is getting in the way of his desire to rid the world of most Jews.
• Wipeout, ABC, 8 PM: Sentient pools of water seek their next victims by having them perform menial tasks in the hopes of a cash prize.
• Does Someone Have to Go? FOX, 9 PM: Teams of six compete to see who can hold in their excrement the longest; the winner is then allowed to eat one of the losers.
• Race Horse Mafia, A&E, 8 PM: Retired race horses that have been taught to count run a betting ring out of the back of their stable.
• Chopped, FOOD Network, 8 PM: The key ingredient arsenic adds tension to the judging.
• Family Feud, GSN, 8 PM: Steve Harvey is bemused at things people say in response to loaded questions.
• Unicorn Justice, TLC, 9 PM: A roving band of unicorns with contrasting personalities bicker with each other when they are not impaling convicted murderers with their horns.

Anon - I love Hannibal! I’m a huge fan of the director. I think it’s a really well done (heh cooking) show. But I also think it’s really funny to laugh at. If you didn’t lose your shit at the “did you just smell me?” line, you’re not human.

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood

doctorfeelbad:

life is like a box of chocolates: dark and unpleasantly surprising